Mombarian - Not So Fun House Pt 2 & Magical Frustrations

Look I know you all have been dying to find out just what happened when we did finally make it back into that dreadful house from our minor jaunt to the otherside of the world. I am more then happy to fulfill that wish now. If you are just joining us and confused I play an Ancestral Guardian Goliath Barbarian with higher then normal INT and WIS for a Barbarian who has unintentionally become the Mom of the group I play with at work. This is a continuing diary of that game, our antics, and our desperate attempts to not die. If you would like you can check out my first mention of the Mombarian in the post 'Playing Against Sterotype' and our first long winded tale with them in 'Mombarian & the Cave Dragon'.

But on with our tale! We'd just popped back through a portal back into the room of way too many undead severed hands to watch as ourselves sped through the battle in the room and disappeared before we ourselves poofed in. So we hadn't lost anytime and the family we had been trying to save wasn't doomed for all eternity thanks to our little snatching. We were also lucky to have our wonderful co-DM back as she had joined us after school just for this purpose.

For a quick overview we were in the first of 4 rooms on the second floor that we needed to clear in search for a trunk that held a gem that needed to be returned to its pedestal or the family would be gone forever. Thanks to wibbly wobbly timey whimey things we had all gotten a long rest on the boat ride back to my Great x9 Grandfather (I have his eyes), so we were back at full health and I had all my rages back. Take that resource sucking house of doom!

With 3 more rooms to clear we get to work, moving out into the hallway and across to the next room. It was a bedroom most likely for the parents as it had a large four poster bed and vanity. We still of course searched through all of their things. Totally because we were still needing to find that jewel that was in a trunk somewhere and not because our party has a bunch of sticky finger thieves...nope... But we found nothing and were surprisingly not attacked, which just served to make us suspicious.

We move on to the room next door and find a child's room with bunk beds and toys all over the place. Here we searched again but not as hard since we didn't think they'd try and hide the jewel in the kids room but wanted to be sure given our co-DM and her age. The fact that still nothing happened or attacked us just made our suspicion grow even more.

Our suspicion meters at full we crossed the hall to the final room to find a large bathroom with a large tub filled with water (suspicious), a privy (suspicious), a large mirror (double suspicious). As we walk further into the room and fan out to check things I spot something large at the bottom of this tub filled with water. In a house our Ranger detected an Elemental in. Yeah none of us were going to stick our hands in there so instead my character, Nakon, took our grappling rope to command word it around the object. Problem is and it got stuck part way into the water before rising up. We had found our Elemental in the form of a Water Weird.

Now I don't know about you but I'm never thrilled about fighting an Elemental since you know they can do things like, in this case, drown you. The RAW for drowning is harsh too so ain't nobody want to get caught up in that. When with a whoosh the Water Weird flooded the bathroom about a foot, enough to slam to door closed on us and keep it from opening, we decided it was probably a good idea to try talking to it first. It hadn't attacked us and we hadn't attacked it so we were on good terms. Our problem came down to though that known of us could speak its language but we could get close to something it seemed to understand. So Rinn used minor illusions to help tell the family's story and ending with a picture of the jewel and a question. Before ya'll go screaming about it in the comments yes I know this isn't a RAW use of the spell but the DM allowed it with performance checks to see if we could get our point across. Sometimes you have to allow for some bending of spells especially when your players do creative problem solving. For some bonus information Nakon was canonically doing an interpretive dance in the background to assist so that Rinn could roll performance checks with advantage.

Eventually we got the point across and were asked why we wanted the jewel, another minor illusions story time and interpretive dance later we explained that we were trying to save the family. This was a gamble because things could have quickly gone bad if they were with the monsters trying to take the jewel for themselves. BUT if the Elemental was in fact with the family, and this fancy bathroom was just kind of its room, then we should be okay...hopefully... I really just didn't want to drown. After everyone held their breath for what felt like forever while the DM rolled behind the screen for something the Water Weird handed my character a volleyball sized sapphire to which Nakon quickly thanked and bowed out backwards out of that bathroom as soon as the water had pulled back from the door.

For those keeping count with the story time of this house of horrors arch that means we have taken on the Undead and the Elemental sensed by the Ranger in the house. Now we only had the 3rd floor to contend with which is where we assumed we'd find not only the pillar we needed to return this jewel too but also the Dragon and Fiend our Ranger Larkin had sensed, in an unknown number. Things could get a little dicey but we didn't have a choice. We were running out of time to save the family and since we'd cleared the house from the lowest floor there was only up left to go.

As we were preparing to mount the stair to our doom Rinn doubled over coughing. Ya'll remember that whole creepy pervy old cave man that told Rinn that something was wrong with him. This is us finally getting to see what that will be and boy is it creepy. Continuing to spiral down a coughing fit until fully doubled over against a wall Rinn coughed up a big black glob. It was shiny, pitched black and seemed to absorb the light. Oh yeah and slithers into Rinn's shadow and disappears. When compared to our shadows in the same light his is now slightly darker.

coolcoolcoolcoolcoolcoolcoolcoolcoolcoolcoolcoolcool

The only saving grace there is this little nugget of goodness that Rinn dropped before we pushed on to the 3rd floor -

"I guess I'll just swallow next time."

On the 3rd floor we find its an open designed slightly classed up attic with a section of the room on the opposite side from the stairs blocked off by curtains. But between us and that curtain was a Blue Dragon so it looked like we were about to take on our 2nd dragon of this campaign so far. Now I've played D&D for a long time but rarely have I actually been in a campaign were we have come against a dragon much less 2 of them in essentially back to back story archs. I was actually really excited about it but also pretty sure we were going to die until the dragon opened its mouth.

"All I want is the jewel, I don't have to kill you. We don't have to be barbarians about this." - Dragon

"Actually..." - Nakon

"CLASSIST!" - Rinn

Of course we got into a fight after that especially when Nakon reminded the group that we got this we've already killed one dragon, which really seemed to intimidate our current blue buddy. We were rolling really well and Rinn and I had just leveled up into our Extra Attacks so our damage output was amazing. Plus with a raging Nakon the dragon had Ancestral Guardians all over them after the first hit from her acid greataxe. Part way through the battle the dragon is looking really bad and we can all tell that our co-DM really didn't want it to die so the dragon ended up busting a hole through the wall and running away vowing revenge and cursing out in Draconic, so I was the only one to understand any of that.

With the dragon out of the way we make our way behind the curtain and see a pedestal with a smallish chest on top that when opened has a cushioned interior and is just large enough for the jewel. We place it there and there is a whooshing noticeable shift in the atmosphere followed by the sounds of running foot steps. Dashing up the stairs comes the parents of the family to check on the jewel. We find out that they are the protectors of the Eye of Golamesh (our volleyball sized sapphire), one of a set of items that allow a person to control the Titan of Golamesh. This family has served as protectors of the Eye for generations to keep the Titan from coming back.

Of course as players we are all instantly thinking about how the heck we would possibly survive a Titan at this level, and I personally was internally screaming cause I bet you the freaking bad guys are going to bring it back. The father states that since they have already been discovered and the location of the Eye exposed that they would need to leave, ushering us hurriedly from the house as the mother went to gather the children. We ask a few questions as we get pushed out trying to get more info to not much avail before being shoved out of the door.

We all shrug our shoulders as start walking towards the gate since the guards at the tower told us they would be the ones to talk to for a reward after finding the family, we weren't losing out on a reward by being shooed. Then we hear a rendering tearing sound comes from behind us as the ground quakes under us, as we whip around trying to stay on our feet we see the mother freaking house stand up on some chicken legs as two giant wings unfurl. The wings begin beating pushing us back with Nakon grounding themselves and keeping most of the party from flying off as this house STARTS FLYING AWAY towards the North. Afterwards we all just look around blinking at each other and Nakon looks confused while gesturing at where the house had been.

The town knows nothing and Nakon rages, also we shop

If we thought a flying GTFO chicken house was weird boy were we in for an infuriating treat. We made our way back to the tower and got the guards attention to come down and speak with us only to tell us that it wasn't an official posting. After explaining multiple times that we got the job posting off of the board on the tower so it obviously was and what we had just done, including battling a blue dragon, we finally got to speak to the Captain. Who told us that it wasn't an official posting and the Hamlets have been gone for months so that we should go to the local inn and sleep off our crazy.

At this point Nakon in beginning to see a little red because of all the nonsense they have had to deal with up to this point. They have the cleric cast Zone of Truth and again tell the Captain the entire story from start to end after proving that no lies could be told. Surprise! He still doesn't believe us but gave us a note to the local inn for a free couple of nights and 100 GB for "our troubles". Practically livid at this point Nakon punches and breaks the door frame next to the Captain, turns and marches off before she punches out a person. While she is off drinking deeply from the Hanseath's Drinking Horn (never ending alcohol) to cool down the party manages to get the name of the guard that was on duty when we first came to town and inquired about the posting as George Masters and that we are likely to find him at the inn drinking.

The group comes and finds Nakon after getting some directions to a few shops that we need to hit anyway before taking advantage of the free rooms to sleep. Our first stop was the Part & Parcel ran by a halfling named Lily who was very blunt about Nakon's height and thinking that Rinn was a cutie. We bought a bunch of stuff from the shop and then Nakon asked Lily if she knew the Hamlets, to which she paused before replying -

Huh, that's weird I feel like I just saw them yesterday but they left months ago.

Which sends Nakon muttering angrily under her breath about stupid magic chicken legged houses and their stupid families as she takes another swig from her drinking horn. The group thanks her for her time and assistance before getting directions to a place of healing and someplace that deals in weapons.

As we pass the tower Nakon waves at the guards in the tower with a fake smile as she says curses at them in Giant before taking another swig from her drinking horn. She really doesn't like this weird magic thing that no one believes them about its not natural. Just then Rinn double overs coughing again and starts dry heaving before swallowing whatever it was. You know that thing he said he was going to do next time and takes 28 necrotic damage and can only heal up to half of that damage on the next long rest. So a big punch to the gut but lead to another quote from Rinn for the post that I think you'll love.

"I guess I'll just spit next time."

We continue on to the Blacksmith while side eyeing Rinn hard trying to figure out what is going on. Where we meet Rhogar the Red Dragonborn that Nakon bonds with after sharing her drinking horn. Kindred spirits they be. Nakon bought some essential javelins and same items and then picked up a set of wood carving tools they'd just made. The rest of the group picked up a few things we had lost in the caves before this town and then of course we made the mistake of asking Rhogar when was the last time he saw the Hamlets.

Huh, that's weird I feel like I just saw them ... but they left months ago.

Our next stop is the Temple of Argenta, followers of the Mombarian will recognize that as the name of the Goddess of Healing that yank us out of the dungeon for a tromp through the Fey Wilds to steal back the God of Blacksmithing's hammer from our main crazy bad lady. Turns out the temple is in a bit of rough shape as they have been seriously vandalized with things broken, everything tossed about and graffiti on the walls. We meet Sister Zymera who looks Rinn over and can't help him because it isn't a curse that is effecting him but something else. She suggests either traveling to the temple in Notone or to talk to the hermit Darla who may be able to point us in the right direction. Since they have a few hours before dinner time Nakon stays behind to help clean up and fix the temple and donates a large sum of money in exchange for temporary custody of a Medallion of Argenta (I am suppose to give it to the Sisters at the next temple we go to).

With that little rambling over with, I’m JustKay your regular DM Dalliance on the web and I’ll see you next post.

PS - As I was writing this I came to a terrifying realization from my notes. We never ran into a Fiend in that house which means somewhere within a mile of us is a Fiend. That can't come back to bite us in the butt right? The fact that the DM asked us multiple times what the distance it could sense those things at has no effect on the future of our game right guys.... guys?