Setting Up a Safe Table

As many a person not fitting what most people think of when they think of a group around a table playing D&D or Pathfinder or even good old Warhammer, I've often felt uncomfortable at the table. Sometimes that feeling has also been added to with feeling unsafe at the table. In all honestly the latest trend of tabletop games being more mainstreamed has helped show the diversity of players but has again stirred up that good old fake gamer rage. So to help create a safe table and continue to encourage all who want to play to grab a bag of dice I've decided to share some of what I do to make that happen.

Now just to have this disclaimer in here - the things I'm talking about are based off of my own personal experiences, therefore they do not need anyone swooping in to declare "not all gamers' or the like. Because guess what? I'm talking IRL experience mates. Even though many people that are considered to come from marginalized groups have the exact same, and sometimes even more horrifying, experiences I do with this genre of gaming. So shhhhhhhh~ listen and improve instead.

I've been running games, and therefore creating spaces at my table for players to join, for a good number of years at this point and I've taken those experiences as a player to build into my tables rules. Rules that help make sure everyone at my table has a voice, feels empowered to use that voice no matter what, and feels welcomed. These are rules that work for me and I do augment them as needed. An important part of these rules is the conversations you have with your players. They are who these rules are meant to help so they need to have a chance to discuss them. There should be some give to them but your players also need to have faith that you will hold fast to them if maybe one of your more persuasive players decides to go rogue.

There is a little prep work, as anything good at the table has. I tend to send all of my players for a new game a kind of quick survey.  Its three simple questions : do you have any triggers? How familiar are you with the system? What parts of games do you enjoy the most? This lets you get some basic information about your players that will help let you to begin to shape an environment, we will get to how to use this info in a bit.

But lets get to the rules, and if you have any questions just either hop over to the contact page and send it over!

Open Communication - We are all adults here. If we have problems we will talk them out as adults. There will be no taking out of game aggression out on each other in game or visa versa. You have a problem then talk to each other like adults and equals. We will work it out even if that has to be facilitated by the DM. If you feel uncomfortable with going straight to the other player to discuss it then please come to your DM for help.

Diverse Inside & Out - Our game will be as diverse, if not sometimes more so, then real life. That means humanoids and creatures of every shape, size, race, religion, and some very odd mashings of all of the above. We are meant to have a fun time together so no one should feel like the token as a player or as a character.

Don't Be a Jerk - This comes in many forms in many a game as a gamer's derivative of the golden rule. Treat others as you would want to be treated. You wouldn't enjoy having your stuff stolen from you? Then maybe don't be that dick rogue who steals from your party. You wouldn't enjoy someone purposefully derailing you and being a constant kill joy? Then don't be the overly piteous and overly righteous paladin. I'm not saying roleplaying your character is a bad thing, in fact I highly encourage it at my table. But the point of playing a game together is that you are all having fun. So that has to be remembered as it is a group co-op game.

The Red Card - You can't account for every possibilities with players or with dice. They easily derail, hard right turn, and 180 just about anything we set in front of them. Sometimes these can lead the game into unintended, extreme circumstances. In order to account for the unpredictability of the game I've established the Red Card system. If something is happening that makes a player extremely uncomfortable or is triggering all they have to do is show this card. As DM I will immediately step in and end it, pivoting the story as needed to get us back on track.

Agreed Upon Hard Boundaries - There are some places the story never needs go towards. This is where alot of your discussions with your players will take place. This is where the triggers your players disclosed to you will live. This is where the things that trigger red cards will come to reside. These must be your hard lines in the sand, this is where you prove that you are here for your players. To protect and ensure their good time at the table by respecting them.

Use your discussion with your players, the information from their surveys, the rules above. Create a table that all feel welcome and safe at. This in turn creates a game we can all feel truly a part of and get lost in with our characters.

With all of these rules in mind for your table there is something else I need to say. Never be afraid to add or augment rules to fit your own table. That goes for everything involving this wonderful game that we all enjoy together. We are all here to have fun exploring, adventure, traversing dungeons and just plain messing around in the a world where dice and paper reign.

With that little rambling over with, I’m JustKay your regular DM Dalliance on the web and I’ll see you next post.